FML: So it has been awhile since I had sex. I went to a dealer and bought some roofies not for the reason you think I roofed myself and took off all my cloths and pretended I got laid
(605): This guy next to me has a girls name tattooed on his arm crossed out and now another girls name below
(718): I just banged this chick no rubber and told her I was you, congrats you might be a dad
(516): I cant have sex for a couple days you bruised my pussy and asshole
(412): Im heading to applebees with three guys I fucked this week this is going to be weird
FML: Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away.
(215): were the 3 best friends that anyone could have
(212): Come over and watch a movie, and by watch a movie I mean have sex
(310): Your sister is no longer a virgin
(212): Just woke up with cum leaking our of my pussy and nobody around, heading to get plan b.
