(403): Pick me up im in the dumpster behind d an d
FML: Today, I was threatened with eviction from my apartment. The reason: incessant loud screaming. My brother had cheered really loudly while watching the Soccer World Cup on ESPN. He doesn't even live with me.
(215): were the 3 best friends that anyone could have
(801): I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
FML: Today, I had a date with a girl at a fancy restaurant. In the middle of it she says, "Excuse me, I have to use the bathroom." I watched her get up, walk over to the door, leave, get in her car, and drive away.
(704): oh yeah!
(972): He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
(727): I did this prank on BP!
(740): Chef Boyardee
(954): Double dog dared him to get a friar cut hahaha
